30 is a gorgeous yet ridiculous milestone that people scare you about in advance. The people who are going to be 40 regard you as a kid. They say, ah you aint even 35, you a kid, wait till you turn 40; But wait. Didnt the 30-something tell me the same thing when i was about 25!
And no, im not turning 30. Im actually going to turn 35. In my head i think im still the 23 year old me. With two kids, one of whom is almost a decade old himself. With a few grey hair, actually lots. And more freckles. Ah, these i love! So much charecter.
All i can think about this year is actually, that i am ever so grateful, endlessly, constantly grateful for all I have. Sometimes i dont quite show it, like every other normal human being on earth, but i am.
So as i near the 35th year of my life, i would like to say, im far from perfect, more real than i've ever been and and as of today i am finally just the happiest version of myself.
Im not afraid to spend huge amounts of time alone, im not afraid to say NO! when i really dont feel something, im happy to stay in my cute pjs watching Netflix and running my hands through the pages of a recent book i picked up from borders, while sipping on beer. I now, only spend time and effort on the people who truly matter to me, and i have learnt NOT to carry my heart around on my sleeves. Did it, been there, been burnt and well learnt!
What i want you twenty somethings to know:
1) Apprearance - This is so overrated. You can do your boob jobs, and get tummy tucked and fit plastic into your bodies whereever you think perfection starts or ends at. But trust me loves, ive seen people there and ive seen people beyond. Your body is merely a soul covered with skin. Learn to breathe. if i started comparing my grey hair with a bunch of women i know who have none ( thanks to no stress, or whatever you may call it ) i would have a nervous breakdown nearly every day. So what ive learnt here in these 20 years ( counting only 15 and up ) is love the boobs you have, love that grey hair ( get it colored though ), love your goddamn stretch marks as that effort in those babies, is a constant reminder. Love you. You dont need to be perfect or there is truly no shape or size for beauty. Yes, go ahead and work out and make yourself feel good. I feel awesome if someone tells me that me and my son look like siblings. But beauty is truly beyond that.
In my early twenties living, I had a huge group of friends. It was a very different kind of social life. The parties were electric and i got married early. The overall time was always loud, and always filled with total energy.
At 30-Something now, i have matured out a little, I crave a quieter and more soulful life ; I dont have a huge group of people i call friends. I found a few Soulmates as friends, who i can contact anytime i ever feel low, or high. We never count, who called who, who messaged who and also we dont neccesarily talk once a week. We lives miles apart. However i am my happiest when i talk to them.
I have a few friends who i love to hang with sometimes and talk my heart out. Apart from this a couple of nights here and there of just hanging.
But what i have learnt in the end is:
I have met the most loving people of my life at the most vulnerable times, when i just wasn't myself. Neither the happiest, not the best looking and not the best dressed. But my friends Nj, Sonia, Chan, Chan 2, Chawla are all proof, that beauty and love has no boundaries or limits. So appearance is overrated. Invest less in your makeup, and more in making yourself happy. Instead of spending a 300$ in Sephora on makeup shopping which other people will look at for a flat 20 seconds, invest in your own self. Go by the water, read a good book, take a boat ride, parasail. Your soul needs the love and care. Your face is happy with good skincare :) And people who love you will make you feel this!
I never have the fear of missing out. I am happy where i am!
What truly matters:
For me all that truly matters, is my Family. That includes my mom and dad, my brother, Kamy, his siblings and mom, our babies together and my absolutely loving few friends. Quality over quantity any day for me. I dont think i ever feel Cooler, or hotter by partying or going out 4 times i week. For me it is all soul. Learn to be where you are, learn to not compare. Learn to be. Learn to be peaceful. Learn to just stay happy where you are.
That is the be it, and be all.